The fence and the .... well, jerks
One lovely, sunny day on patrol, I was dispatched to a house that quite surprised me.
I was working in a low income district. Certainly, some of the older homes had been gentrified but they were still small homes with small lots, for the most part. Nothing like the 'burbs, really.
This house ... I started driving down the street to the address and I felt like I had fallen through a wormhole. Huge, beautiful trees on nice sized lots and the house was a nice-sized two story colonial in lovely condition. And it was well matched by its neighbors. A little urban Shangri-La. Or at least until you actually meet the people who live there.
Actually, that is not at all fair. The reporting parties were new to the neighborhood, moving from a much more expensive area in the foothills with more big beautiful trees and a lovely, very large and quite well-known college campus.
Well, these folks proceed to explain their complaint to me. They walk me out to the back yard, filling me in on the fact that they recently bought the house and were new to the area. They point out the six-foot privacy fence that was painted white. They said they had just recently repaired or replaced it.
It's important to note the lots were not square to each other, so their back fence backed up to more than one home's backyard. I think it might have been three total, actually.
They point to the far right corner of the fence and tell me that their neighbors painted it. It looked all the same white to me.
They then walk me back to the far right corner of the yard. There was about a six foot stretch of the fence that backed up to a neighbor on the next street.
Again, they told me the neighbor had painted the fence. Again, I see white. Then they tell me to look on the back side of the fence.
The what?? Why would I look on the back side of the fence? What does that have to do with anything??
Okay, fine. I think I had to climb onto something to look at the back side of the fence.
I can see the neighbor's yard is quite carefully landscaped and they have a four-foot picket fence which they have painted that cedar-red color. The colors of the yard are well put-together.
And yes, they had painted the back of the white privacy fence cedar-red.
White fence complainant wants me to charge the neighbors criminally for destruction of property.
"You want me to charge them for painting part of the fence you can't see?"
Basically, "Yes, it is my property."
Of all the petty, small-minded, ingracious creatures ... this pair of privileged elites really ticked me off.
But my job is to enforce the law. And if, in fact, the back of the fence is the property of these ... ahem, people, then it is technically illegal to alter it.
Seriously. They called the police for this.
Okay. So, my call partner and I meander over to the neighbor's house, promising the white fence complainants JUSTICE. Unfortunately, a throat punch was not an option in the land of customer service.
Knock, knock. Hello!
An elderly gentleman comes to the front door, quite happy to help us however he can. He and his wife are the homeowners and they bought the house decades ago. They invite us inside to this sweet little grandparent house, tidy and welcoming.
I sigh and explain to them the situation. We all go to the back yard to take a look.
The yard was so cute, lots of texture and ornamentation inside that cedar-red fence.
I ask if I can go back to the fence line and of course they say yes.
I walk back and can see the lot line has been recently marked, probably related to the . The privacy fence is indeed on the white fence complainant's property.
So, I go back to this elderly couple who have been invested and established in the neighborhood for decades and tell them that it is, in fact, not legal for them to paint the back of the white privacy fence. Even though it is will be a terrible eyesore to have a section in the back corner of their yard that is two feet higher than the rest of the fence and an entirely different, clashing, color.
We chat a bit about it and these humble people agree to paint the fence white again. As we are leaving, they are talking about maybe they will put a little red fence in front of it, along their property line, so that they only have the top two feet to worry about and maybe the trees will block it.
Their little urban oasis backyard has now been ruined by their new neighbors.
My job is done, right?
I go back to the white fence complainants and tell them the neighbors have agreed to repaint the fence to the color they wanted it. The man actually asked me, rather incredulously, if I was not going to issue the neighbors a ticket for damaged property.
How I did not get a complaint out of that call, I will never know. I guess I can b.s. and put on a good front when I need to.
I hope karma got those petty people. Yuck.
I was working in a low income district. Certainly, some of the older homes had been gentrified but they were still small homes with small lots, for the most part. Nothing like the 'burbs, really.
This house ... I started driving down the street to the address and I felt like I had fallen through a wormhole. Huge, beautiful trees on nice sized lots and the house was a nice-sized two story colonial in lovely condition. And it was well matched by its neighbors. A little urban Shangri-La. Or at least until you actually meet the people who live there.
Actually, that is not at all fair. The reporting parties were new to the neighborhood, moving from a much more expensive area in the foothills with more big beautiful trees and a lovely, very large and quite well-known college campus.
Well, these folks proceed to explain their complaint to me. They walk me out to the back yard, filling me in on the fact that they recently bought the house and were new to the area. They point out the six-foot privacy fence that was painted white. They said they had just recently repaired or replaced it.
It's important to note the lots were not square to each other, so their back fence backed up to more than one home's backyard. I think it might have been three total, actually.
They point to the far right corner of the fence and tell me that their neighbors painted it. It looked all the same white to me.
They then walk me back to the far right corner of the yard. There was about a six foot stretch of the fence that backed up to a neighbor on the next street.
Again, they told me the neighbor had painted the fence. Again, I see white. Then they tell me to look on the back side of the fence.
The what?? Why would I look on the back side of the fence? What does that have to do with anything??
Okay, fine. I think I had to climb onto something to look at the back side of the fence.
I can see the neighbor's yard is quite carefully landscaped and they have a four-foot picket fence which they have painted that cedar-red color. The colors of the yard are well put-together.
And yes, they had painted the back of the white privacy fence cedar-red.
White fence complainant wants me to charge the neighbors criminally for destruction of property.
"You want me to charge them for painting part of the fence you can't see?"
Basically, "Yes, it is my property."
Of all the petty, small-minded, ingracious creatures ... this pair of privileged elites really ticked me off.
But my job is to enforce the law. And if, in fact, the back of the fence is the property of these ... ahem, people, then it is technically illegal to alter it.
Seriously. They called the police for this.
Okay. So, my call partner and I meander over to the neighbor's house, promising the white fence complainants JUSTICE. Unfortunately, a throat punch was not an option in the land of customer service.
Knock, knock. Hello!
An elderly gentleman comes to the front door, quite happy to help us however he can. He and his wife are the homeowners and they bought the house decades ago. They invite us inside to this sweet little grandparent house, tidy and welcoming.
I sigh and explain to them the situation. We all go to the back yard to take a look.
The yard was so cute, lots of texture and ornamentation inside that cedar-red fence.
I ask if I can go back to the fence line and of course they say yes.
I walk back and can see the lot line has been recently marked, probably related to the . The privacy fence is indeed on the white fence complainant's property.
So, I go back to this elderly couple who have been invested and established in the neighborhood for decades and tell them that it is, in fact, not legal for them to paint the back of the white privacy fence. Even though it is will be a terrible eyesore to have a section in the back corner of their yard that is two feet higher than the rest of the fence and an entirely different, clashing, color.
We chat a bit about it and these humble people agree to paint the fence white again. As we are leaving, they are talking about maybe they will put a little red fence in front of it, along their property line, so that they only have the top two feet to worry about and maybe the trees will block it.
Their little urban oasis backyard has now been ruined by their new neighbors.
My job is done, right?
I go back to the white fence complainants and tell them the neighbors have agreed to repaint the fence to the color they wanted it. The man actually asked me, rather incredulously, if I was not going to issue the neighbors a ticket for damaged property.
How I did not get a complaint out of that call, I will never know. I guess I can b.s. and put on a good front when I need to.
I hope karma got those petty people. Yuck.
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