Who am I and Why am I Writing This Blog?

I am a female who grew up in a broken home.  No drugs, alcohol, or parental abuse.  Just a bunch of relationships of the week for my parents and not a lot of supervision or family time for me.  That will probably come up in some of my writing.  That's the only reason I mention it.

I am middle aged, single, childless, and heterosexual.  I am also a Christian, which informs as much of my life as my faulty humanity will allow.

I am on my 12th year as a law enforcement officer.  It is less than a week since the Las Vegas massacre.

I saw that a LVMPD officer was killed at the concert while enjoying his time off.  His name was Charleston Hartfield.  And he wrote a book, within the past year, I would say, since some of the entries are from 2016, called "Memoirs of a Public Servant."  I figured it was something small I could do, to buy the book to support his family and his memory.

Well, the book is absolutely what I needed right now.

The job has gotten exhausting.  My soul is tired.  And I need to find ways to take care of me.  His book is just a bunch of journal entries, basically, and I find it such a relief to see that he had some of the same feelings I am having.  I think he was a few years longer on the job than I am.

So, thank you, Charleston Hartfield, for encouraging me to write.  It's scary.  My thoughts and feelings could easily be twisted around by some hateful person.  It's not like we don't see that every day in our current culture.

But maybe someone else will be helped by what I write here.  Or maybe nobody will ever read any of it.  I.  Don't.  Know.

But I need to see the volume of what is eating away at my soul.  And I need to put a spotlight on the good things, the why of it all.

So, this is for me, for Charleston, for all of my brothers and sisters on the blue line, and for anyone who just doesn't understand, but wants to.

God bless you and God bless America.

And ... just in case ... all entries in Blue Grace Call Notes and Blue Grace Under Fire are my property and are not to be shared without my express written permission.  If they are shared via social media, a link to the original blog must be included.  In case I ever let anybody read these.

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